so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
