remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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