Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
