I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
