I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
My pussy is not your playground.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
