Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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