Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
