Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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