how can u be prego again
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
