Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
