just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
there is glitter all over my balls
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
