I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
