thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
