based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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