Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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