So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
