I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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