She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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