all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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