they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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