If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
