Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
