I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
