hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
