fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
