FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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