If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
