I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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