totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
