The maid of honor just puked.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
