you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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