1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
