I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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