you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
