ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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