If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize