the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
