I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
