I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
