My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize