sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
