I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
