Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
