They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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