Just cropdusted the office
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
