Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
