4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
look no pants
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
