it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
