Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
