I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize