end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i will never coherently bang her
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
