I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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