i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
