Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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