We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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