She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
