hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
