Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
