I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
