Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
