That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish you could order shots online.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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