i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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