after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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