Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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