My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
