I wish my penis had an off switch
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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