I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
