Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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