just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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