I want to have your abortion
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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