we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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